Before I met Amy and Robert, I knew many people
who I would now refer to as casual acquaintances, but I was very hard pressed to
find anyone who I could really call "friend" in the truest and most
sincere meaning of the word. Then,
as circumstance would have it, I was fortunate to find not one, but two such
individuals who I am very grateful to say are the dearest friends in my life
today. And it is not only fitting,
but it brings me great pleasure, that those same two people are now married and
we are all here to witness this sacred event.
And I am extremely honored they have chosen me for their best man.
Each of us is here today because of a special bond
we have with Robert and Amy. It is
a bond that is different for each of us, because we each have a different
relationship and set of circumstances through which we know them, but in every
case the underlying principle defining that bond is still the same.
Ayn Rand identified it as the "trader principle."
She wrote:
The symbol of all relationships among rational
men, the moral symbol of respect for human beings, is the trader. We, who
live by values, not by loot, are traders, both in matter and in spirit…..Just
as [the trader] does not give his work except in trade for material values, so
he does not give the values of his spirit--his love, his friendship, his
esteem--except in payment and in trade for human virtues, in payment for his own
selfish pleasure, which he receives from men he can respect. (Ayn Rand,
Atlas Shrugged)
This principle takes on many forms in the
relationships Robert and Amy have with each of you here today.
Within in this room we see the esteem between friends, the shared
experiences of brothers, the love of a mother and her son, a mother and her
daughter, the very special bond between a father and his daughter, and most
importantly, the highest form of relationship--the one we have all come here to
celebrate--the romantic love between husband and wife.
Each of us receives a particular joy on this
occasion as we honor Robert and Amy on their marriage.
I know this, because if anyone did not find joy in it, but instead viewed
attending this event as a sacrifice on their part, I know Robert and Amy would
be deeply insulted by this and not invite such a person.
For, it is the pleasure each of you receives on this occasion that you
offer as proof of your shared values and mutual esteem for Robert and Amy.
And I know they take joy in the pleasure each of you experiences as well
as for the pleasure they receive in return for you being here.
You should each feel very special for having been included in this
celebration. It is this
trade--value for value--each to our mutual advantage that the trader principle
is all about.
But the primary focus for this event is the
selfish pleasure Robert and Amy receive from each other. It is the pleasure that comes for the highest emotional
response between two people--that of romantic love.
It begins with a response to the sense of life found in another which
agrees with one's own, and is made more intense by the virtues later found in
that same person.
A value is that which one acts to gain or keep and
virtue is that with which one acts to gain or keep it.
Robert and Amy certainly value one another.
And what brought them together and will keep them together is that unique
sense of life which they share, combined with adherence to the virtues of
reason, independence, integrity, honesty, justice, productiveness, and pride.
This mixture of virtue and sense of life is the cement that forms the
foundation for their marriage. These
are what make their values real.
Robert and Amy are two of the most virtuous people
I know and exemplars of all the major virtues I have mentioned.
For this reason they mean so very much to me and I am proud to be their
best man. I wish them each a long
and happy life so that they may have as many years as possible to enjoy
together. May their marriage always
be filled with joy and happiness. Join me by raising your glasses in honor of Robert and Amy.